The Zaporizhian Host of Cossack Ukraine is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Hetman Volodymyr Zelenskyy with an iron fist, and notable for its triple-decker prams, strictly enforced bedtime, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.643 billion Cossacks are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zaporizhzhia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cossack economy, worth 299 trillion Rodins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 113,166 Rodins, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 587,798 per year while the poor average 11,785, a ratio of 49.9 to 1.

Increasing numbers of children in Cossack Ukraine have different eye and hair color to their supposed fathers, citizens who refuse to vote are guillotined, Cossacks are unrivalled in obstacle courses, and soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cossack Ukraine's national animal is the Nightingale, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Verdigrisism.

Cossack Ukraine is ranked 37,106^th in the world and 32^nd in Barbaria for Most Corrupt Governments, with 58.52 kickbacks per hour.